In Which a Potato Falls for a Tomato
by DisturbingBunnyRabbit
Summary: Formerly known as: GERMANY SNAPS! Germany finally tells Romano off for giving him a hard time. But, what's this? Could it be? Is Germany actually starting to have feelings for the short fused Italian? Oh, this should be interesting.
1. Germany snaps

**A.N.) **Yeah, I just had to. Tell me if you liked it! Warnings for unknowing molestation.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own! So sad too, I'd love my own Roma-chan...

**NOTE: **This is not a one shot anymore! I may change the title and summary later, so be vigilant!

"Damn potato bastard, coming around trying to negatively influence my stupid little brother!"

Germany silently stewed as he yet again suffered Romano's verbal abuse. He didn't understand why he hated him so much. What had he done to deserve this? … Never mind… None the less, Germany couldn't think of anything he had done wrong to this particular person/nation, (half of one anyway) this irate, annoying, constantly cursing Italian.

"ENOUGH!" Germany shouted suddenly. Romano fell silent. Well, looks like Romano _could _shut up after all. "What have I ever done too you? In all of the times we have seen one another; I have been nothing but tolerant and polite towards you! And in return, what do I get? A disrespectful attitude and an earache! I'm sick of it! Give me a reason for it all! I don't care if you dislike me, but at least have the courtesy as to tell me just exactly _why_ I am so hated!" Romano stared at him, silent, mouth gaping slightly in shock. Not that that lasted long.

"Vaffanculo! Who the hell do you think you're talking to, macho potato _bastard_! I can hate you if I want to damn i-"

This was about when Germany decided to shut him up. By grabbing that oh so mysterious strand of hair that both Italy brothers shared, though in different places. You see, having spent as much time with Italy as he had, Germany had noticed that when one pulled on said strand, both brothers in question had quite the curious reaction. This included whimpering, slightly labored breathing, a light coloring of the face, limpness of the limbs, and finally, a lack of significant or loud speaking. Also known as: peace.

"Now that's it! I will hear no more from you! Do you have any idea how grating it is to hear you constantly screaming profanities? I don't know how Spain does it!"

"Chigi! Nyagh! Nnnn! S-stop it! " Romano cried out desperately, clawing at Germany's hand. The taller, stronger nation ignored him, continuing to pull and twist the curl and his second rant in the last half hour.

"I cannot take it anymore! It is completely unfair! You accuse me of being a bad influence on your brother, but if anyone is, it's you! And also France, but that's not the point!" As Germany spoke (Yelled), he unconsciously tightened his grip on the curl, bringing out a strangled gasp from the smaller nation.

"Hah! Ahhnn. Cut it out, you bastard…" The brunette demanded weakly. By this time, the southern half of Italy was writhing under the blonde's touch, and issuing a steady stream of pants. Not that Germany noticed, he was too caught up in venting his pent up frustration and irritation.

"And furthermore, I am tired of you insulting German tourists! They-" Germany was interrupted by a loud cry.

"Aaahh! Germany! Stop, please! " That stopped the blond nation short. "Germany" was the most polite way Romano had ever addressed him, and the near hysterical plea combined with that shock was enough to snap him out of his little fit. He had even said "please". Germany looked down at the Italian and froze. Apparently overcome by the stimulation, Romano clutched at the sleeve of Germany's uniform in an attempt to keep standing. His face was flushed red, and he was panting deeply and unevenly. Germany felt his own face begin to turn pink, as his eyes were drawn to Romano's own half lidded, cloudy ones. Why had he never noticed what beautiful, golden, pools of melted honey they were? Or how soft his thick, rich, chestnut colored hair was? Or- Wait, no! Germany retracted his hand and averted his gaze when he realized he had been staring at Romano. And running his hand through his hair, no less!

"Umm, excuse me. It seems I got carried away…" The blue eyed man trailed off awkwardly. He couldn't help himself as he snuck a peek at the still recovering nation. Romano's breathing had evened some, and soon he was able to straighten himself, though his face was the same deep scarlet as before. Romano seemed to take a moment to realize what had just happened to him before erupting into almost disbelieving stutters.

"Chigi! You asshole! You! Y-you! You molesting bastard! S-Spain! Spaaaaaiiiiin!" Romano burst into tears before turning and running away faster than Germany had even seen Veneziano run from the English. Watching the retreating figure, Germany couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. He might not know what exactly that curl was, but he knew it was sensitive and he had exploited it. But what had he meant by "Molesting bastard"? A mental image of Romano, panting and weak kneed, entered his mind. No, no, no! Shaking his head, Germany dismissed the idea that it was sexual arousal that caused Romano to act that way. That was absurd! Sensitive or not, it was just hair. Germany resolved to forget the incident. Though for some reason, he couldn't get that noise Romano had made out of his head.

"Chigi, hmm?" Germany mused to himself. The sound of it was almost cute…


	2. Germany learns about hair curls

**A.N.)** So, due to the fact that almost every review asked me to, I'm continuing this. I've decided that every other chapter will be centered more on Romano's thoughts and interpretations, switching with Germany's. Hope that's okay with people… I'm really relying on your reviews to motivate me. Enjoy the update!

Romano pouted as he sat on his couch, brooding about the "incident". _Stupid perverted potato head. _He thought. _How dare he touch my curl again? _Seriously, this was the third time! Romano grumbled in irritation to himself as his front door swung open.

"Ve~ Ciao, fratello! How are you doing today?" Veneziano called in a cheerful tone as he skipped into the living room. Romano shot a mild glare at his overly happy brother before launching into a rant.

"How am I doing? How am I doing? That stupid, macho, kraut-breath friend of yours just got through _molesting me_ an hour ago! Why do you even insist on spending time with him, anyway?" Romano shouted.

"V-ve…" Veneziano shrunk away from his very angry brother and cowered on the end of the sofa. "B-but fratello! Germany's really nice! You know he didn't know what he was doing! He'd never touch your curl if you told him what it was. If you were nicer to him, I'm sure you'd get along really well!" Veneziano said earnestly. Romano just scoffed and ignored him. There was no way he was ever going to treat that brother stealing bastard as anything but the pile of shit he was. Veneziano ended up staying for dinner, and when Romano finally got his brother to leave, it was only because Germany arrived to drive him home.

"…What. The fuck. Are you doing at my house?" Romano screamed after answering the door.

"Umm. Well, Italy called and asked me to drive him home…" Germany said, still feeling a bit awkward about blowing up at the Italian and abusing his curl earlier.

"He can drive himself! Leave!" shrieked the irate brunette.

"Ve! Fratello, don't yell at Germany! It's too scary driving alone in the dark…" whimpered the younger Italian brother. Romano huffed but decided that as long as the blonde troll wouldn't be staying for too long, he would just let it go. For now. "Umm, but, Germany, while you're here, there's something we need to talk about, ve…" Veneziano said in an (almost) serious tone of voice. This captured the attention of the other men.

"What is it, Italy?" Germany asked curiously.

"Well, because of what happened today between you and fratello, I think it's time I told you about why it's not a good idea to touch our curls." Romano paled, and Germany gained a look of curiosity.

"D-don't you dare!" Romano spluttered.

"But Fratello! It will keep it from happening again! And this isn't just about you, Germany has touched mine too." Veneziano said with determination before turning back to the by now very interested blond. "Germany, our curls are our special place."

Germany looked puzzled. "Special place? I'm afraid I don't understand. Could you be more specific? " Romano's face was bright red with mortification by now, but that didn't make his younger brother hesitate.

"You know, the place that makes us feel nice." Veneziano explained. The German still looked confused. Damn it all to hell.

"He means it's our erogenous zones, you idiot! Romano burst in. He promptly clamped a hand over his mouth. Shit! The awkward atmosphere had caused him to say something equally awkward! Romano may have been tomato red, but Germany's face was even more flushed. At least he had the decency to look mortified in front of the two men he now knew he had molested.

"Ve! That's right! Do you understand now, Germany?" Veneziano asked in a bubbly voice.

"Yes… I am extremely sorry about… touching the both of you in such an indecent way." Germany said while staring at the carpeted floor beneath him. By this time, Romano had enough.

"Alright, that's it! Just get out!" Romano yelled. And with that, he pushed them both out the door, slamming it behind them. He leaned against the door, slowly sliding down it to sit on the floor. "Chigi…" He said as he held his burning face in his hands. This was the most embarrassing night of his life!

**AN.) **Gaaahhh! Hope this was okay, it took a bit of concentration to write, I got stuck in the middle of it… Oh, and a warning to fellow writers: Never leave your fanfics up on screen. My mom ended up reading this and wanted to know why I was writing about erogenous zones… Awkward… Also! I ask for new title ideas! Now that this will be multi-chaptred, I need a new idea for the title. The old title will be used for chapter one only now.


	3. Germany's life is now in danger

Germany attempted to keep his thoughts focused on not crashing as he drove Veneziano back to his home. His face was still burning in embarrassment. He couldn't believe he had… And the noises and faces they made really were... because of that… The faces and noises Romano had made…

"Ve… Germany?" Germany snapped out of his dreamlike state and narrowly avoided crashing into an approaching car. Huh. When had he swerved into the other lane again? Germany cleared his throat before replying.

"Y-yes, Italy?"

"Oh, never mind, I was just going to tell you that we were going to crash is all." Veneziano replied calmly. Unnervingly so.

_But then again, Italy is a pretty reckless driver himself… _Thought the blond nation as he pulled into his friend's drive way. Italy bounced out of the car and up his front steps before turning to wave goodbye.

"Bye Germany, see you at our meeting on Thursday! Oh, and don't worry about the curl thing, you didn't know!" Shouted the excitable brunette. With his face red enough to rival that of a certain hot tempered Italian's, Germany pulled back out onto the road and started to head home.

The next morning he was enjoying a relaxing cup of coffee while he read the newspaper (It was his day off) when the sound of footsteps pounding up the basement stairs filled his ears. It wasn't long before the sound of a door slamming open followed by and an obnoxious laugh could be heard.

"Weeeeeessssssssst!" The drawn out call was all the warning he got before he was tackled out of his seat by an overly exited albino. Thankfully, he had managed to set his (steaming hot) mug of coffee down before he was crashed into. Really, Gilbert could be so reckless.

"Good morning, brother." The blond stated with relative calm.

"Kesesesesese! So, it's your day off, right? How about we grab a beer?"

"How about we wait until we won't look like alcoholics for drinking before the sun is halfway through the sky? And would you please get off of me?" Normally he would be more severe towards his obnoxious sibling in this situation, but Prussia's excitement was slightly endearing.

"Pfffft. Whatever," Prussia said flippantly as he stood to let his brother return to his seat before plopping into the seat opposite him.

"So, anyway~ what has my little brother been up to lately, huh? Met any new people? Seized any vital regions?" The albino asked jokingly. Not that the lack of seriousness stopped Ludwig from doing a comical spit take with his coffee at the mention of "vital regions". It just reminded him too much of certain hair strands… Prussia stared at his normally composed brother in open mouthed shock for a moment.

"KESESESESESE! What's wrong, west? You didn't actually seize someone's vital regions, did you?" Germany's face was bright red again for what seemed like the tenth time in the past three days.

"Kesese… Well, well, west. I must admit I'm proud. I didn't think you had it in you. So who's the lucky nation? It's Italy, right? It's got to be!" Prussia exclaimed excitedly as he bounced in his chair. Germany buried his burning face in his hands as his brother continued to chant;

"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" In the loudest and most obnoxious voice he could muster. Germany mumbled something into his hands and Prussia stopped his chant to try to catch it.

"What was that? Speak up, west!" Again, more unintelligible mumbling. "I can't hear you~!" The older sibling exclaimed in a sing song voice.

"God damn it! I said IT WAS ITALY'S OLDER BROTHER ROMANO!" Prussia was rendered speechless and simply gaped at his brother who was now panting as if he had finished running after a retreating Italian. As Germany's breathing became level and he regained his composure, he began to notice the prolonged silence that was so unusual when around his brother. Looking up, he noticed Prussia was giving him a look that seemed to be a mix of horror, awe, respect and surprise all in one. Well, the surprise was actually more like earth shattering disbelief, but…

"Um, are you alright brother?" The blonde inquired with a bit of concern. Prussia blinked a few times before giving a weak smile.

"Heh heh. You were totally joking just now, right west? I mean, there's no way you were being serious." Prussia asked with a slightly desperate tone.

"W-well, it's not like I did it on purpose, I just-" Prussia cut him off with a horrified shriek.

"No way! Not cool! Do you have any idea what you've done? If Spain catches wind of this, he'll kill you! Oh my God, he'll kill me too if he finds out I knew! Shit! I can't die, I'm too awesome! Shit shit shit shit!"

"Calm down! Nobody is going to die!" Prussia ceased ranting to stare Germany right in the eye.

"You don't know what he's like when he's angry. You especially don't know what he's like when it comes to Romano," he said with a shudder as he closed his eyes.

"So…They_ are_ dating then?" Germany asked tentatively. He felt his heart sink, just a little. Though that was an irrational reaction. Why should it matter to him if Romano was taken? It wasn't like they had a good relationship anyway. Prussia's eyes snapped open at his inquiry.

"No, they aren't dating," Prussia said with a confused expression. "Spain's just kind of like his insane and incredibly doting and protective older brother."

"Oh…" Alright, he really shouldn't be feeling relieved right now. After all, his older brother had just made it abundantly clear that his life was apparently in danger. Prussia was still looking at him strangely when he glanced back to him.

"West…You don't actually like that brat, do you?" The shorter man asked suspiciously.

"N-no, of course not! It was an accident! We were arguing and I didn't know what I was doing! I-I was merely curious about why Spain was so protective of him, nothing else!" He stuttered out with only a light blush. Really, that question shouldn't have flustered him like that…

"Well, okay, if you say so west." Prussia said somewhat skeptically. "Just…Be careful, alright? I won't tell Antonio and we'll both just hope Romano doesn't go blabbing about whatever incident happened between you two." Germany grimaced as he remembered the way said Italian had run away screaming the Spaniard's name after the…Occurrence, but nodded in agreement. If worst came to worst, he would merely try to explain the situation to the normally friendly country and claim that his brother had no knowledge of the event. Germany ran his hand through his hair tiredly. He couldn't seem to catch a break lately. The curl incident, this whole dramatic breakfast scene and the fact that he'd have to attend that meeting with Italy in two day's time. Talk about awkward, but at least he didn't have to see the older Italy brother any time soon…

At this time, in Rome, Italy, Feliciano Vargas was in the middle of a coughing fit.

"Oi! Don't get sick, damn it." His older brother called after the spell had passed.

"Ve~ don't worry, fratello! I feel fine!" The younger called back over his shoulder cheerfully.

"Che. Who the hell said I was worried, bastard?"

A.N.) Finally an update! I am so sorry; I never meant to update this late. If it's any consolation, I've decided to start updating this every weekend from now on. So, um, yay? *sweatdrops* Really, I am sorry guys. I've been writing this a little at a time for the past three weeks. Hope it doesn't suck… Also, before I forget, I really need your help coming up with a new title for this fic! The old one doesn't really apply to more than the first chapter. Please review, as reviews are what kept this from remaining a one-shot.

With love,

-DBR


	4. Romano will probably need a new rug

A.N.) Hey guys! Look, an update! See, I kept my promise~. There were so many favorites and subscriptions! Thanks a lot! I'd love if more of you guys left reviews. By the way, I'm officially changing the title of this fic in a few days time, so if you want to keep following this, I suggest you find a way to do so without relying on the title. That's all, thanks for reading and pleases review!

"Damn it. Damn it! DAMN IT!" Romano glared at the thermometer in his hand accusingly as it flashed the high temperature back at him mockingly.

"V-ve, fratello, please don't shout. My head huuuurts…" Veneziano whined weakly. Feeling slightly guilty, Romano let a slow breath out of his nose as he tried to calm himself down. Okay, so it was Thursday morning. And his brother was supposed to go to that meeting with the potato bastard today. And his brother's fever hadn't gone down like he'd hoped in the past twenty two hours since he'd first gotten sick. All over Romano's rug. Which he still had to clean up. Damn it. Thinking over the facts wasn't helping! It didn't change the fact that he was upset, that his brother was sick and miserable, or that he would be the one who had to go talk about boring-ass stuff with that kraut later today.

"Ve, fratello?... I don't… Feel so goo-UCCK!" Romano frantically shoved the sick bucket under his brother's face as he threw up what little soup he had been able to hold down earlier. He rubbed circles on his brother's back and murmured soothing words to him as he continued to dry heave into the pail.

"Uhhh, Romano, it hurts! Make it stop, please!" Feliciano moaned out, crying and trying not to throw up again at the bad taste in his mouth. Romano felt his guilt deepen as he took in the pathetic sight. He gave Feliciano the glass of water that had been stationed on the night side table and watched as his brother took a sip and then spit the now bile laced liquid into the bucket.

"I'm sorry Feli, I wish I could. It'll be over soon, Fratello, I promise." Romano set the bucket on the floor next to the bed and brought a small hand towel up to his brother's face, wiping away the puke that was still sliding down around Feliciano's mouth. Damn, how was he even going to leave for the meeting? He couldn't just leave his fratello here; he could barely even walk on his own! Chigi… But he knew their boss wasn't about to let him stay to take care of him. As long as one of them was physically able to go, this meeting was not about to be rescheduled. It looked like Romano had but one option, then.

"Wait here, Feli. I'll be right back." Romano said gently as he stood up and walked out into the hall to pick up his land line and begin dialing. He called the person he always called when he needed help.

"Hola! You've reached the house of Antonio Fernandez Carriedo! Antonio speaking~."

"Spain, it's me."

"Oh, Roma! What a surprise~. I'm so happy you called! Listen, yesterday, France and I-"

"Shut up! I called because Veneziano's sick and I can't stay home to take of him today! Clueless as you are, you're better than him staying here alone! Now will you come down here and take care of him, or not?" Romano broke in.

"Oh he's sick? How terrible! Well, I'm kind of far away, but I can be there in about one hour if I ride my bull!"

"Wait, what the hell? You idiot! How is that going to be faster than a-" Romano stopped speaking as he realized Spain had already hung up. Well, Spain might be an idiot, but Romano trusted that he'd find a way there in time, somehow. Glancing at the wall clock, he saw that he had a good hour and a half before he had to leave. At least if Spain didn't show up, he'd have enough time to try to call someone else.

…An hour later, Romano found himself outside his house tapping his shoe and glancing at his wristwatch, looking up every now and then to eagerly scan the horizon. Damn. He knew he shouldn't have expected Spain to actually show up when he said he would. He turned back and was about to head inside when all of a sudden…

"Spairooooooooon!"

"Spain?" Romano turned back to see a bull carrying a brunette Spaniard jump over his fence and land in front of him.

"Hola, Romano! I told you I'd be here in an hour!" Romano gaped at him and said nothing, too stunned by this logic defying event even to reply.

"Um, Roma? Earth to Romano! Are you alright? You didn't catch what your brother has, did you? Spain asked in a concerned tone.

"How did you- Never mind. I don't think I want to hear your answer. Just tie that thing to the fence or something and come inside." Romano finished tiredly.

"Okay, Romano~ I'll be right in." Romano rolled his eyes and strode back in the house. He called back over his shoulder.

"Meet me up in my room, that's where Veneziano's staying." Not waiting for a reply, he marched up the rest of the stairs and entered his bedroom.

"Ve~ is big brother Spain here?" Veneziano asked in a weak voice.

"Yeah, tomato bastard's here. Somehow." Romano answered. Just then, said nation bounded through the door way.

"Feli! You poor thing! Don't you worry about a thing Romano; I promise to take good care of your little brother!"

"Ve~ I'm so glad! Thank you big brother Spain."

"Che. Whatever. Just don't shout, he has a head ache." Romano said sourly. Glad they were so happy. Now _he_ had to go spend the afternoon with a stupid potato head German.

"Ve~ fratello, don't you have to be going soon?" Veneziano asked from the bed. Romano cursed as he glanced at the clock. Well, shit. When had so much time passed? Now he was going to be at least fifteen minutes late. Oh, well. It's not like he was keeping anyone _important _waiting. But he would get an earful from his boss if he kept the kraut waiting much longer. Sighing, Romano gave a half heated wave in farewell as he headed out the bedroom door. When he got downstairs he picked up his keys, his suitcase and made his way out the front door to his parked car that sat in his driveway.

"Fucking great." Romano ran a hand through his hair as he stared at the door in front of him. Through this innocent seeming panel of wood, a molesting German bastard lay in wait. The pervert had better not try to touch his curl again. He didn't have the excuse of not knowing what it was anymore. A-and he better not yell at him for being late, damn it! It wasn't his fault! I-it wasn't like the blond was scary or anything, anyway, it's just that…It would be annoying as hell to be yelled at. Yeah, that was it…

"Well, here goes nothing." Romano murmured irritably. Then he pushed open the door.


	5. Romano attends the meeting

**(A.N.)** Hello again! Early update time! Hope everybody found the fic ok, what with the title change *nervous*. Is it alright? I had a hard time deciding on a new one… Well, regardless, I'd like to give a shout out of sorts to Akiino! You're such a loyal reviewer! Thank you so much, it means a lot to me to see someone review every chapter like that! Now on to the update, it's what you want to be reading right now anyway. Thank you all for reading and please review.

Germany didn't bother looking up as he heard the door open.

"Ah, Italy you're late. Again. Never the less, I expect the rest of this meeting to go on without any problems, so pay atten-" At this he broke off, after having raised his head to look at the silly pasta loving Italian. Only to find the ill-tempered and equally pasta loving older brother of said nation.

"Ah, s-southern Italy. What are you doing here?" Germany asked, stuttering only slightly as he swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. This was not good. Not good at all. Where was Veneziano? Romano scowled as he pulled back the chair across from the blond nation and sat down.

"Why, you got a problem with me being here?" Romano asked sharply.

"Ah, no, I was just wondering…Er, I thought…I mean, wasn't Veneziano supposed to be here?" Germany finished lamely. Romano leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms before answering.

"Humph. Idiot got himself sick."

"Oh, well, that's too bad…n-not that I mind having you here instead, I just…Um. I hope your brother feels better soon." The taller nation could feel his cheeks heat up slightly as he floundered. Damn, he was making a fool of himself. This was so very awkward…

"Che, whatever. Let's just get on with the meeting already; I don't want to have to spend any more time with you than necessary." Germany felt a pang of hurt at that but quickly shook the feeling away. What was wrong with him? It's not like Germany could blame the other man for not liking him. Not now, anyway. Regardless, Germany straightened up and got a serious look on his face. Business. He was here for business.

"Yes, of course," and with that, the blonde launched into his speech, feeling only slightly uncomfortable as he felt those bored, amber eyes lazily trace his movements whenever Romano became too tired with picking listlessly at his sleeve.

"So, how do you feel about the trade deal?" Germany asked the brunette while attempting not to be distracted by those bright golden eyes boring into him.

"Mmm. I don't like it." The Italian stated flatly.

"What? Why? I think it is more than fair." The German said, taken slightly aback.

"Because." Romano replied stubbornly.

"Well, I suppose it's fine if you disagree, but what problems do you have with it?"Germany inquired; his brow furrowing. His patience was beginning to grow short. Regardless of their…Personal issues, Romano should take his work more seriously and leave such things out of the conference room. Romano sent a venom filled glare at the man.

"You proposed it. That's my problem." Romano bit out. Oh, this was not going well. Germany slumped into his seat and massaged his temples.

"Well, then just what do _you _propose, if you dislike my idea so very much?" The blonde asked in a restrained voice. At this rate, the meeting wouldn't be over in time for "siesta" and if Romano was anything like his brother at all, Germany knew that would mean no work would get done until at _least _an hour later. Looking up when he received no immediate answer, Germany noticed Romano had a slightly blank look on his face.

"What…do I think?" Romano asked in a puzzled tone. His eyes shifted downward, looking through the papers in front of him. It didn't seem that he had read them, and he shuffled through them quickly.

"Um, well, I…" Now it was Romano who was flustered. His cheeks started to turn pink, and from there became a rather…fetching shade of red.

"Ah, well…Damn it! I… Uh, umm…." The brunette continued to stutter, and Germany couldn't help but marvel at how… strangely adorable it was. Wait, no, he should focus on the task at hand. He mentally scolded himself as he cleared his throat. Romano shot him a pathetic glare as his crossed his arms defensively.

"Well…I'm sure we can work something out…" With that, Germany spent a good forty minutes revising his original plans in order to favor Italy a bit more with a disgruntled and sometimes unwilling to participate Italian. Germany knew he wasn't supposed to, that he was going to be reprimanded by his boss later, and he also knew that most countries would take advantage of this sort of situation. But he couldn't help himself. Germany had no real explanation for his behavior, but he wrote it off as a means of paying the smaller nation back for the…curl…incident.

When the meeting was over, Germany found himself lingering, watching Romano pack up. A strange, almost adventurous feeling began to take hold of him. Sure, Veneziano was usually the one who attended meetings, but there was no saying that he wouldn't get sick again in the future. And that would mean more dealings with Romano. And if that was the case, it would be wise to know more about the stubborn, fiery man in order to quicken the business exchanges and increase their productivity. Therefore, would it not also be wise to talk to that man, perhaps over a hot beverage? Germany nodded to himself. A perfectly logical conclusion. And that is how the blond found himself standing awkwardly by the door, waiting for Romano to pass by. When he did, Germany stepped in front off him a bit and brought the other nation to a halt. Romano sent a dark look up at him as he tapped his foot impatiently.

"Move, Potato bastard. I've got shit that needs to be done." Germany cleared his throat. Oh, he was probably getting himself into trouble right now…

"Well, actually, I was thinking that if you weren't terribly busy, we could… go out for a coffee, maybe?" Germany held his breath as he waited for the most likely violent reply. But Romano just stared at him blankly. Germany blinked back at him. He had heard him, right? He hadn't accidentally slipped into German halfway through, had he?

"Um, Romano?" The blond was starting to feel a bit anxious now. He didn't seem angry, but he wasn't answering him. Just then Germany gave a start as the brunette seemed to slowly surface from whatever spell he had been under with a single utterance:

"…What did you say?"


	6. Romano doesn't feel guilty

**A.N.)** Okay, this would have been up earlier, but the site wouldn't let me upload anything. But now it works again! I'm so happy! Sorry for the hold up, please review. :)

"…What did you say?"

Romano stared blankly at the blond in front of him.

_What the hell? What did that Potato bastard just say? Because I _**know **_he did _**not** _just ask me out on a fucking coffee date._

"Umm, well, I thought perhaps we could get to know each other better over some coffee. J-just as colleagues, that is… You know, in case…In case we ever need to deal with one another again in the future…" Germany trailed off.

_Oh, hell no. _Romano couldn't believe his ears.

"…Are you retarded?" Romano asked quietly. He leveled a taken aback Germany a serious look while he waited for the answer.

"No?" Germany replied, sounding uncertain, almost as if he were asking a question. He looked confused, and almost…hurt? Nervous? Vulnerable? Romano narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

_Nah, he's just trying to screw with my head, there's no way he's being sincere! This must all be a plot to get with fratello! Yeah, the bastard probably just wants inside information on Veneziano so he can seduce him! _The small Italian thought bitterly. Germany cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable.

"So...Would you consider it?" He asked with a slightly hopeful tone. Unfortunately for him, Romano was livid at this point, convinced as he was by his own inferiority complex stricken logic that the other nation was just using him to get to his younger brother. Romano was about to blow his top, when suddenly, his more devious nature surfaced.

_Why not agree? _It said cloyingly. _Tell him you'll meet with him at some little café later this week, before he returns to his house. Let him show up at the shop, let him wait there for hours, making a fool of himself as he waits for someone who will never come… _Romano paused as he processed this unbidden scheme. His face became calm and mask like as he thought it over, leaving Germany shifting anxiously, waiting to be answered.

_Hmmm. Not a bad idea… I guess those mafia bastards' influence isn't all bad after all, if I can come up with stuff like this. _Romano smiled as he straightened his shoulders, looking Germany in the eye with no visible hint of malice. This caused the blond to become unnerved, he had never seen Romano make such a calm expression, and never expected to see such a face directed at him by the normally irritable Italian.

"Alright, bastard, you've got yourself a deal." Romano smirked as he imagined the potato idiot waiting at some café all day. Germany's face was the picture of incredulity.

"You will?" Germany couldn't look or sound more surprised. And…was that…happiness? Romano quickly brushed that thought away. No, the German was only excited because he thought he'd found the key to getting in his brother's pants. Perverted Jerk.

"Yes, yes, I'll meet you tomorrow afternoon at the small café down the street. Now get out of my way," Romano said impatiently, pushing past the still shocked blond. He made his way out of the building and blinked once in the bright sunlight before continuing down the street to where he parked his car. On the way, he passed by a man standing outside a shop, who was looking at his watch and then anxiously glancing around at the people on the street. _Maybe he's waiting for someone…Someone who won't show up…_ Romano slapped himself to get rid himself of the traitorous thought and gained a few strange looks. He scowled at his citizens' general direction before hopping in his vehicle and speeding off as quickly as he could. _Damn it!_ He thought angrily to himself. _Don't start feeling sorry now! He's just a stupid potato! He probably doesn't even have feelings! _Still, the feeling in his gut didn't go away by the time he got home, and after he had sent Spain away, he was convinced that he had caught whatever Feli had. Because obviously, what he was feeling could not be guilt for tricking the pervert potato. It could not.

"Damn it, Veneziano, I caught your stupid illness!" Romano complained loudly.

"Ve? I'm sorry! Do you not feel well, fratello? What's wrong?" Veneziano asked. (He felt a bit better now, and could carry on a conversation normally) Romano sent a glare at his brother.

"My guts feel all twisted up."

"Eh? Oh no! You're nauseous?"

"Well...No…"

"Do you feel really cold?"

"…No…"

"Well then, do you have a headache? A sore throat? A cough?"

"…No…" Veneziano wrinkled his brow as he contemplated what could be bothering his brother.

"What did you do right before you started feeling bad? Did you eat something strange, ve?" The younger Italian asked in a concerned tone. Romano shifted and averted his gaze before answering.

"I…I accepted the potato bastard's invitation for coffee…"

"You did? That's wonderful, ve! Now maybe you and Germany can become friends!" Veneziano smiled at the idea. (He had long ago given up trying to make his brother stop calling Germany names)

"I'm not going!" Snapped Romano.

"Why not? Do you feel that sick?" Romano rolled his eyes.

"I never planned on going, idiot. I just said that so the bastard would look stupid waiting for me tomorrow."

"Fratello! How could you! That's so mean!" Veneziano scolded. Romano flinched. His brother almost never showed anger, but he was glaring at him now with disapproval. He crossed his arms and glared at the floor.

"So what…He's just a stupid spud-head," Romano mumbled defensively. Veneziano's gaze softened slightly as he mulled over this new information.

"…And you got this strange feeling after you agreed to meet him?" Asked Veneziano thoughtfully. Romano looked up from the floor to meet his brother's gaze.

"Yes." He replied uncertainly. Where was his brother going with this, anyway? An indulgent smile suddenly spread over Veneziano's face, making his older brother feel uneasy.

"Ve~, I think you're confusing guilt for illness, fratello." Romano spluttered indignantly.

"Why the hell would I feel bad for tricking _him_?"

"Because you're a good person?" Veneziano supplied.

"…Whatever. I'm still not going. " Romano huffed stubbornly. Veneziano frowned.

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not."

Yes, you _are_."

"I said, no, I am _not_. Clean out your damn ears."

"Ve~, fratello," Veneziano said in the menacing tone of voice mother's used before they started to count to three. Romano grimaced. He wasn't going to go. He wasn't going to go. He wasn't going to- Ah, hell.

"Fine! Fine, damn it! I'll go meet with the stupid German! Happy now!" Romano shouted.

"Yes, I am," Replied his brother smugly. Romano scowled at his brother before stomping out into the hall and entering his own room, slamming the door behind him. He flopped on to his bed and covered his eyes with his arm, groaning in irritation.

_What the hell did I just get myself into?_


	7. Prussia, toilets, and Germany's socks

**A.N.)** I'm sorry! Fanfiction wouldn't let me log on for some reason! DX Well, hopefully you enjoy the chapter, short though it may be…

Prussia's red eyes traced Germany's movements as he paced around the hotel room, periodically glancing down at two pairs of socks he held in each hand.

"Got another meeting today or something, West?" Prussia asked with slight amusement. Sometimes it really was worth tagging along with his brother when he had meetings, because Germany's feathers were so easy to ruffle. Although, he still wished he could be back at home, he was on the final level of his most recent video game. But, blow up the toilet one time and suddenly you're not allowed to stay home alone. The world really is just unfair sometimes…

"No. I'm meeting Romano at a café this afternoon…" Germany replied distractedly. Prussia grinned in response.

"Kesesese. How cute, West is getting all worked up about his little date~"

"It is not a date, bruder!" Germany said in a slightly flustered tone. "Now, which pair do you think I should wear? My pants are brown, but the black socks-"

"KESESSESESE!" Germany was cut off midsentence by Prussia's obnoxious laughter. Germany glared at his brother.

"Don't laugh! This is a serious matter! Italians are very fashionable, what will I do if I wear the wrong thing? Then Romano and I might get off on the wrong foot and we'll never be able to work properly together!"Prussia rolled his eyes.

"Being a bit over dramatic, aren't you West?"

"I'm serious!"

"You're always serious."

"Enough! I must decide on a pair of socks! But, how am I supposed to choose? What if I pick the wrong pair? Romano is very temperamental. I could set him off with just about anything. I should know, with all the times he's threatened me before with no apparent reason…"

Prussia threw his arm over Germany and pulled him down closer to himself.

"Shhhhh. Do you hear that?" Prussia whispered into his brother's ear. Germany stood still and strained his ears in spite of himself.

"It's the sound of no one caring!" The albino whispered. Germany growled in irritation before throwing off his brother's arm. Prussia cackled as Germany shot him a disapproving glare.

"Seriously, West, don't worry about it! You're just going to a café, it's not like your first date is going to be at an opera house or something! Prussia said with an amused smile. Germany's cheeks colored as he answered him.

"It's not a date!" Prussia frowned.

"Really? Could have fooled me. Especially since you're so worked up about it."

"I-I'm not worked up about it!" Prussia slightly raised one eyebrow in disbelief, gave his younger sibling a lazy look of doubt.

"Really, now? You asked me whether or not you should wear brown or black socks." Germany felt his face heat up and fill with color again.

"W-well…" Prussia waved his hand lazily through the air to indicate he should stop talking.

"Just drop it West, whatever." Suddenly, Prussia fixed him with a serious gaze. "Just remember what we talked about last time. Don't do anything that could set Spain off." Germany gulped. He had almost forgotten about that…

"Right..." Out of nervous habit, he glanced down at his watch and then realized he should get going soon. He grabbed a pair of socks and headed to the door of their hotel room. Romano had said to meet him in the afternoon, but he hadn't given him a specific time and Germany didn't want to chance being late.

"Oh, and West?" Germany turned to look at his brother and just barely caught the pair of socks that were hurled at him. Prussia smirked and said;

"Wear the brown ones. Trust me." Germany blushed and hastily threw on the brown pair as he listened to his brother cackle before putting on his shoes and heading out the door.

**A.N.) **Yay for Gilbert!~ (Don't ever leave him alone with bleach, a welding iron, a toilet and firecrackers...Just...Don't...)


	8. Love Doctor Veneziano

**A.N)** OAO This is laaaate. I'm just gonna skip the excuses and let you read, now. Please review!

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Romano didn't want to get up. He really, really, didn't.

"_Maybe if I stay in bed I can pretend I slept through the afternoon. Yeah, that was a good idea…"_ he thought sleepily.

Romano's stomach rumbled. The Italian cursed as he glared down at his abdomen.

"_Ah, hell."_

Looks like he _had_ to get up now… He shifted slightly on the bed but paused to sniff the air, the scent of mouthwatering food tickling his senses.

"_Oh, yeah, Feli stayed to make sure I went through with it, didn't he? …Annoying ass little brother…"_

Romano rolled out from under his covers, lying still for a few moments before sitting up and stretching his arms over his head as he let out a yawn. He blinked his eyes blearily at the sunlit room around him before sighing tiredly. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, hissing slightly as his feet touched the comparatively cool wooden floor below. He grumbled to himself as he rummaged through his laundry (which he had never bothered to put away after washing) looking for a pair of boxers to throw on before he went down stairs. (He slept in the nude, so what? Feli did too, and it was way more comfortable anyway!) He ran a hand through his hair as he plodded down the stairs, calling to his brother as he went.

"Hey, Veneziano, are you done cooking yet?" His little brother came into view as he rounded the corner to his kitchen. Veneziano looked over his shoulder from his place at the stove and smiled.

"Almost! Sit down and it'll be done in a few minutes." Romano scowled lightly at the idea of having to wait at all, but it didn't have much effort behind it because he was still tired. Veneziano set a plate of food before Romano and sat down opposite him at the table with his own. Veneziano chewed slowly as he watched his brother dig in to the meal, scrutinizing Romano with an unusual expression. Romano ignored it at first, but soon grew fidgety under the gaze as breakfast turned to a close. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

"What?" Romano snapped as he glared at his brother. Veneziano blinked at him.

"Oh, nothing…I was just wondering when you were planning on meeting with Germany…" Romano sighed and averted his eyes.

"Do I have to?"

"Romano…" Veneziano said warningly. Romano let out another sigh.

"Fine, fine. I'll probably meet him about an hour after twelve. Now quit staring at me!" Veneziano hummed and turned back to focus on his meal. And then he stopped moving, his fork almost in his mouth as a troubled expression came over his face.

"Wait…So you didn't give Germany a specific time to meet you?" Romano scowled.

"No. So what?" Veneziano looked dismayed.

"But Germany thrives on exact, orderly instructions! He's probably going to be standing outside the café waiting for you since noon, just to make sure he won't be late!"

"Not my problem."

"Romaaaaaanoooooo."

"What?"

"Just go a little earlier, please? I don't want Germany to be standing out in the sun that long with his delicate white skin! He'll burn!"

"If he has any sense he'll wait inside the café, you idiot!"

"Veeeeee! But fratello, even though Germany's smart and strong, he does really strange things that don't make sense sometimes! So I'm afraid he'll wait out in the sun!" Romano rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air.

"What? What has he done that's so stupid it even makes _you _worry about him?"

"Ve~ well, one time he tried to give up beer and live on tomatoes…" Romano snorted.

"That's the smartest thing he could have done."

"No, no! I mean _only _tomatoes! No bread, or pizza or pasta, or even any of his weird gross sausage things! Nothing!"

"…You can't be serious." Veneziano nodded gravely. Romano groaned and rested his head on the table.

"_How can someone who seems so tough and well put together be so stupid? …I…I didn't just compliment the potato, did I? No! No way! Damn it!"_

Romano began bashing his head against the table in an effort to get rid of the traitorous thoughts, but stopped when it started really hurting, and when he brother began to scream.

"Wahhhh! Fratello please don't hurt yourself!" Great. Now the idiot was crying.

"Alright, alright, I stopped! Now shut up!" Veneziano gave a few hiccups, but quieted down and wiped away his tears. Romano sank back in his chair, crossing his arms and pouting at his lap.

"Ve~ fratello, you might want to get ready. It's already after eleven, and it takes you awhile to get showered and dressed." Romano glared up at his brother.

"Who said I was going early?"

"Please fratello? Pretty please? I'll invite Spain over and I'll cook us all a nice big dinner, and a super yummy dessert!" Romano's face colored.

"Wh-who says I want to spend time with you bastards?" Veneziano smiled and shook his head knowingly, causing his brother's frown to deepen into a scowl. He gave a humph and turned away.

"Fine. I'll get there around twelve thirty. Happy now?"

"That's great! I'll go shopping for ingredients!"

"D-don't get me wrong! It's not like I agreed because I like spending time with you two idiots or anything! I-I just don't feel like cooking tonight, damn it!"

"Whatever you say, fratello." Romano frowned and got up from the table before stomping upstairs to get ready for his d-NOT DATE, DAMN IT! …His…meeting…Yeah, that worked… Romano shook his head.

"_Chigi…What's with me today?" _Romano could only guess as to why he seemed to be suffering strange thoughts and feelings that morning.

It didn't get any better as time passed. He found himself humming in the shower, agonizing over what to wear, and his stomach was filled with butterflies. For some reason. God only knows why…

"_Huh. Maybe I really _am_ sick after all." _He tried to convince Veneziano as much, but the bubbly Italian just smiled knowingly and pushed him out the door when Romano told him his symptoms. Romano scowled and straightened his shirt, slamming his car door and cursing as he got into it.

Behind Romano's front door, Veneziano smirked and chuckled to himself.

"Oh, you're sick alright fratello…"

* * *

**A.N.) **Yes. Even Veneziano has his sensible moments. XD ...As you can see, the plot of this story is moving about as quickly as a speeding glacier…So, I'm going to have to tell you guys that this story will have over ten chapters…Maybe even over fifteen…Is that good, or bad? Well, regardless, I hope you enjoyed this and I'm so sorry about the delay! Please review!


	9. Spain almost commits murder

A.N.) Hello people! The long anticipated date scene has arrived! /hit by tomato/ …Someone's in denial… /hit by another tomato/

Germany paced back and forth in front of the café, too nervous to stand still as he waited for the Italian to show up. Finally, after what seemed like ages he saw Romano round the corner and head towards the café. Germany's brow wrinkled in confusion when he saw Romano shake his head in apparent exasperation upon catching sight of him.

"Alright, inside, potato-head." Germany felt no little shock as he was pulled forcefully inside the café by the collar of his neatly-pressed white shirt, but regained his composure by the time they were seated.

"Ah…Are you certain you wouldn't rather be seated outside? It's a rather lovely day." Germany asked. Romano glared at him.

"Like you need any more sun. How long were you outside, anyway?" Germany paused before answering.

"About…forty minutes or so." Romano rolled his eyes.

"And you waited directly under the sun. Without sun-screen, I assume?"

"Well, yes, I suppose…"

"Idiot. No wonder you're already as pink as a steamed shrimp."

"Oh, am I?" Germany internally slapped himself. How could he have forgotten to put on sun screen? Now he had looked foolish in front of Romano…But, at least Romano seemed to care about his health…And he really shouldn't be thinking these things.

"Well?" Germany snapped out of his train of thought.

"Um, excuse me, what?" Romano glared at the blonde before gesturing over to the waiting server next to the table. Germany flushed.

"Oh…I will have…a coffee." Germany winced at his own halting Italian, and he could tell the server hadn't understood him from the blank look he received. Across the table, Romano sighed loudly and turned towards the server, firing off rapid Italian. Germany sank low in his seat as he watched the server walk away.

"I ordered for you."

"Ah…Thank you."

"Don't."

The food and beverages arrived not long after, and by that time things were getting awkward…Very awkward… Strike that, things were awkward from minute one. Germany swallowed and adjusted his collar. The act of eating had alleviated some tension, but that didn't change the fact that they weren't holding any conversation…

_Get it together, man; you organized this meeting so the two of you could get to know each other more._

"So, Romano…how…how are you doing lately?" Germany internally smacked himself in the face. THAT was how he tried to start a conversation? Well, better than nothing, he supposed… Romano stopped eating briefly to glance at the German with slightly narrowed eyes.

"Fine…My brother's as annoying as ever, though…" Germany relaxed slightly. Annoying brothers. He could relate. It was a somewhat desperate move, he'd admit that, but at least they'd be talking.

"Ah, yes, brothers can be rather trying at times. You wouldn't believe the trouble Gilbert has caused over the years." Romano looked over at him with what appeared to be veiled inertest.

"Oh, yeah?" Germany nodded.

"One time he was over at Austria's, and I got a call about three hours later from an angry Hungary telling me that Gilbert had set fire to Austria's piano. And his waterbed. I'm still not sure how. But they were very expensive to replace…" Romano raised his eyebrows in disbelief and sat up straighter; seeming to give Germany his full attention.

"Well, one time Feliciano was trying to garden with me and accidentally touched a worm. He freaked out and tried to call the hospital because he thought it bit him." Germany smiled. That sounded like something Italy would do…Germany tucked away the information of Romano's gardening hobby in the back of his mind for later use.

"Gilbert tried volunteer work once, at a daycare of all places. He rallied a group of six-year olds to overthrow and tie up the supervisor, and then led them on a march through the building, throwing crayons at any adults they came upon." Romano let an unwilling smile pass over his lips for a moment.

"Feliciano tried to learn sing opera. He ended up pissing the neighbors off and almost started a mob forming outside his house because of it. The only reason that didn't happen was that he ended up losing his voice for a week because he was caterwauling so often he strained his vocal chords." Germany let out a small chuckle. Finally they were having an interesting and friendly conversation! At the expense of their brothers, but still.

"Well, just the other month, Gilbert blew up the upstairs toilet." Romano's eyes widened.

"How the fuck did he do that?" Germany shrugged.

"I have no idea."

"He didn't tell you? He seems like the kind of guy to brag about stuff like that."

"Well, he did try to explain, but I just told him to forget about it after he mentioned something about "evil pastry spirits" and his "totally awesome pickle disposal method". Romano laughed. And it was the most glorious sound to ever grace Germany's ears. Not to mention Romano's already handsome face looked extra mesmerizing when it was smiling with genuine lighthearted amusement. Germany had to blink a few times to get himself out of his trance like state. He looked over and saw Romano looking at him expectantly.

"Sorry, what?" Romano rolled his eyes and huffed impatiently.

"It's time to go, bastard. I'm tired and I would like to take siesta in the comfort of my own home."

"Oh, of course!" With that, they paid the bill (Germany paid the bill) and exited the café. They stood next to each other awkwardly when it came time to part.

"Well…Ciao, potato-breath…" Romano shifted from side to side, avoiding Germany's gaze.

""Yes, goodbye Romano." And then Germany did something that would have gotten most men killed. He bent down and kissed Romano on both cheeks. He didn't know what possessed him; perhaps he was just too used to it from being around Italy so much. Or maybe he just really wanted to feel that caramel skin beneath his lips. Whatever the reason, Germany did it, and he pulled back with a look of terror once he realized he had. Romano's face was burning, and he seemed frozen to the spot. He just stood there looking at Germany. The blond was about to ask if was okay when Romano suddenly kicked him in the shin and ran in the opposite direction. Germany winced and held his shin for a moment. That Italian was stronger than he seemed…Germany stood up, ran a hand through his hair, and looked around self-consciously to see if anyone had noticed that little episode. At first, it seemed no one had, and he started to relax. But then Germany caught sight of something that made his blood chill. By a produce vendor stood Spain, a frozen look on his face as he clutched what appeared to have once been a tomato, but now resembled a red, gooey pulp. It wasn't long before the look darkened, and Germany gulped as he made his final prayers silently in his head. Luckily, Italy popped out of the crowds and called Spain's attention over to him. As Spain turned with a briefly relaxed expression, Germany made his escape, dashing into the nearest shop he could find and staying there until the owner kicked him out. As Germany returned to his hotel room that night, he thanked God fervently for having had mercy on him.

**A.N.)** I hope this was okay, this was hard to write. They have practically NOTHING in common! It doesn't help that I have zero dating experience, either…


	10. Germany's doomed

**A.N.)** I am so sorry for the long break, the end of this school year was really hectic for me and I got a new laptop (which took me time to transfer my files on to). This chapter is a bit different…it starts off at the end of chapter eight and occurs mostly during chapter nine. That sentence will make sense when you read it… Please enjoy!

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Behind Romano's front door, Veneziano smirked and chuckled to himself.

"Oh, you're sick alright fratello…"

Veneziano began to walk off, chuckling to himself.

SMACK!

And then he promptly walked into a wall. (What do you expect, the kid walks around with his eyes closed, for god's sake)

"Wahhhh! Germany!" Veneziano wailed out of habit as he sat on the floor holding his slightly damaged face. He sniffled a bit and gave a few hiccups before calming back down. He blinked.

"Ve~, I guess I have to rely a little less on Germany if he's going to date Fratello…" Veneziano frowned.

_ But then who's going to protect me, ve? _ He thought to himself. Veneziano shook his head. He'd figure it out later~. He got back up and skipped to the phone, intent on carrying out his promise to his brother. He quickly dialed the familiar number.

*_Ring. Ring. Ring.*_

"Hola! You've reached the house of Antonio Fernandez Carriedo! Antonio speaking~."

"Ve~ brother Spain!"

"Oh, Feli! How nice to hear from you~. What's up?"

"Brother Spain, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight! At Fratello's house? I'm making lasagna~."

"Oh, that sounds great~. What's the occasion?" Spain twirled his phone's cord around his finger happily.

"Fratello agreed to go on a date with Germany! Isn't that great?" Italy gushed.

On the other end of the line, there was a heavy silence. Italy furrowed his brow.

"Ve~ brother Spain?"

"I'm...I'm sorry Feli, I think I misheard you, haha. What was that?" Spain's smile was a little forced, and he hoped Italy couldn't hear the strangeness of his voice.

"Oh! It's okay. I said; fratello and Germany are on a date!" Spain's eye twitched. He exhaled slowly through his nose, trying to calm himself down.

_ Get a hold of yourself, Antonio. You don't have the whole story. Feli has been known to misunderstand things…And there's no way Romano would ever agree to go on a date with anyone one but a beautiful Italian girl, least of all Germany. He hates him. Yeah, this has to be a mistake. Just go over and act normal, do some investigating, it's probably nothing… _

Spain noticed he had set the phone down during his internal monologue and quickly placed back up by his ear.

"Ve? Brother Spain, are you there? Are you okay?"

"Ah, so sorry Feli, I just spaced out for a minute~. I'll be over as soon as I can, okay?"

"Ve, okay brother Spain! See you soon!" Spain waited for the click of the phone hitting the receiver before letting out a growl. This had better be a mistake. No one dated his precious Lovi without first passing rigorous examinations designed to test their worth as a suitor. Spain made haste in arriving at Romano's house. He was greeted by an exited Veneziano, who pulled him into the house and back out again just as quickly when he realized they needed to go shopping for ingredients. Spain was admittedly more reserved than normal, his mind still on the possibility of Romano dating Germany. He was becoming slightly less anxious as he realized how ridiculous that notion was.

He began to relax and just enjoy Veneziano's company and the warm afternoon sun. He let himself be pulled place to place by the excitable Italian, flitting from one stall to the next as they searched for the best ingredients. It was all well and fine, until Spain was charged by Veneziano to find the best tomatoes while he looked for a certain spice. Spain was sorting through the tomatoes, humming under his breath, letting his eyes occasionally wander about the street, when he happened to glance up and see Germany and Romano standing next to each other a little ways away. Spain froze and stared at the scene that played out before him, seeming to unravel in slow motion. The despicable blond leaned towards his precious, innocent little Roma and placed his filthy potato-sucking, beer-guzzling lips on each of his adorable cheeks, tainting their surface. What infuriated Spain all the more was that Romano's cheeks stained red, and he just stared up at the blond instead of beating the hell out of him. That German asshole had gotten away with a kiss unharmed, and had the privilege of making his pure, innocent Roma blush like a cute little tomato. Oh, hell no. That was not going to do at all. Not. At. All.

Spain felt no little satisfaction when Romano seemed to regain his wits and kicked the German in the shin. (Spain knew from experience that must hurt like hell) Then after Romano had run away, the tall man had turned towards Spain. Spain, who had until that point, still been recovering from the shock of seeing his precious little baby brother defiled (in public no less!) instantly sent a glare that last sat on his face when someone on a bike had knocked Romano over in a park. (That person had mysteriously ended up in the hospital one day later, suffering from fifty broken bones, all which seemed to half been carefully snapped in half) The blond had frozen like a deer in headlights at the sight of the Spaniard. Spain was about to lose himself, when Italy suddenly called out to him from behind in the crowds. Not wanting to scare the Italian, Spain quickly forced his face to relax and turned back to the brunette.

"Brother Spain~ Look at what I found~!"

"Oh, that's great, Feli!" Spain put on the most convincing smile he could muster and tried his best to sound normal. For a minute, Veneziano's smile faltered and he feared he had noticed something was off.

"Brother Spain, why is there a squished tomato in your hand?" Spain looked down at his hand in surprise, not having realized that he had held on to the poor fruit all this time. He frowned to himself as he realized that not only would he have to pay for it, but he couldn't even eat it. He sighed to himself as he handed over the money for the tomatoes. (only a bit more than he would have paid any way, but still!) It was all that German's fault, thought Spain darkly as he and Veneziano made their way back to Romano's house. As they got closer, they noticed Romano's Vespa was already present.

"Ve~ too bad we didn't beat him home. Oh well, maybe Romano will want to help cook!" They both knew that was unlikely. Spain kept up his cheery façade for Veneziano's sake, but he was going to have to talk to Romano about today's events.

"Oh, Romanoooooo!" Spain called out as they entered the door. There was no answer. Spain frowned. Veneziano shrugged and skipped towards the kitchen to begin food preparations. Spain's frown deepened.

"I…I'll be right back, okay, Feli?"

"Okay!" Veneziano chirped happily, already becoming engrossed in his work. Spain climbed the stairs and reached Romano's room. He knocked, waiting for a response.

"Go away, damn it!" Ah, there it was.

"Romano, it's important! We need to talk about Germany."

"…"

"I saw him kiss you." Spain's fist clenched at the memory.

"You-you saw that? God damn it! It's not what it looked like! He just sprang it on me! I-I didn't WANT him to!" behind the door, Spain nodded his head. Ah. So, it was like he thought then. It would appear Germany has made his way to the top of his hit-list.

"It's okay, Romano. I know. I won't tell anyone what he did, okay? Just be sure to come down for dinner, sí?

"F-fine, damn it. Just leave already." Spain obliged, his spirits lifted now that he had been given permission to enact his revenge. (Well, in Spain's mind he had been. After all, it would be a problem if Romano liked the German.) He smiled to himself as he imagined punishing the blond. Then his smile faltered and his brow wrinkled as he paused on the last step of the stairs.

_But wait, Germany is Prussia's little brother…_

Spain shrugged to himself. In the end, that was irrelevant. Brother of his friend or not, no one gets away with touching Romano. (The only reason France wasn't dead yet was because he could never catch him in the act of molesting Romano, but Spain made sure to "remind" his friend not to let his hands wander whenever Romano complained, just to be safe)

Romano came down later when the food was ready, and the three spent an overall pleasant evening together. And the whole time, neither Italy guessed that that extra gleam in Spain's eye that night was because Romano had unknowingly doomed a certain nation…

* * *

**A.N.)** Romano…What have you done? *cue dramatic music*


	11. Prussian Barricade

Meanwhile, in a hotel not to far from the Italian's home…

"…You WHAT?" Prussia put a hand to his chest and used the other to help keep himself from falling over. He was breathing deeply and had a stricken look on his face. Germany looked back at him grimly.

"We're going to die…" Prussia said softly. Germany opened his mouth to speak. "We're going to die!" Prussia exclaimed before his brother could say anything.

"Bruder, I'm sure that-"

"We're going to die and it's all your fault!" Germany blanched.

"No we're not," Germany began, not looking as though he really believed his own words. "I'm sure Spain will calm down if we give him some time and then-"

"I can't believe this! I survive your unification, living with that Russian, our unification, and now I'm going to be done in by one of my own friends driven mad because you couldn't keep it in your pants!" Germany blushed.

"I-I did nothing inappropriate whatsoever!" Prussia ignored Germany as he pulled at his hair, pacing around the room and muttering to himself.

"Okay...Okay…Maybe we can survive this...First we need to go home and barricade the house…There's no point in trying to hide after all, he'll hunt us down anyway…"

"Bruder…this whole time you've been saying "we"..." Germany began quietly. Prussia stopped pacing to look at the blond.

"And?" Prussia asked expectantly. Germany shifted his weight and looked at the floor.

"Well, I'm the only one Spain has a reason to be angry with, so you could just go and stay at France's house or something and…" He trailed off after he looked up to see Prussia glaring at him lividly.

"What?" Prussia spat. "You think I'm some coward who'd abandon his own brother to save himself?" Germany blinked.

"No, I only-"

"Well let me tell you something West, I'm not going to leave you alone, or watch as Spain rips you apart, I'm going to fight, and so are you!" Prussia seemed to swell with courage and pride as he spoke.

"…very well, bruder. We will fight." Germany said quietly. Prussia nodded in approval. "However," the blond continued, "when he comes to find me, we will first try a peaceful solution." He sent his older brother a slight glare. Prussia shrugged ambivalently.

The train ride home was tense. The minute they were arrived at the house, Prussia dashed to the basement and ran back up with several sand bags in his arms. He barked an order at Germany to do the same as he dashed out the front door; Germany sighed and descended the stairs. A couple hours later, Germany surveyed their completed blockade and marveled to himself. Without knowing his past, none would suspect that Gilbert was actually quite efficient, strong, disciplined and orderly. (Not to mention incredibly prepared… (The canned food, ammunition stockpile, barbed wire, sandbags etc. spoke for themselves…) Germany was grateful that he had inherited those particular qualities from his older brother. (Though he felt this was a bit of an overreaction)

Prussia pushed Germany inside, locked the door, pushed a bookcase and desk in front of it and turned to his brother. (All the windows had been boarded up about forty minutes ago)

"Alright, West, I moved all the emergency supplies into the underground shelter." Germany sighed in exasperation.

"What? There always needs to be a back-up plan!"

* * *

**A.N.)** Sorry this was short and rushed, I wanted to get this out before I flew to Disney!


	12. Avian Assault

**A.N.)** Just warning you all there's bathroom humor in the beginning …Don't look at me like that, you know this has happened to you at least ONCE. Also, the perspective jumps around a bit. Sorry if it bothers you.

* * *

It was an average, moderately aggravating day for Southern Italy, at least in the beginning. It began with only relatively minor irritations, such as the toilet paper incident...

Romano glared down at the empty toilet paper roll. Why the fuck does this stuff always happen to him? Romano leaned forwards from where he sat on the toilet and used his finger tips to open the cupboard and checked for more toilet paper. Romano growled. He now had two choices; flush and sneak upstairs to the master bathroom to "finish the job", or call out to his brother who was mooching around his house today…Seriously, when was that idiot going to go home and stay there?

… Now, stubborn as he was about keeping his own business to himself (especially this kind), Romano was a classy man. And classy men did not awkwardly waddle up flights of stairs with their asses un-wiped. So it seemed there was only one option then…

"Feliciano!"

"Yes, fratello?" Romano paused momentarily.

"Ve, are you okay in there?" Feliciano's voice got louder, and his footsteps got closer.

"I-I'm fine, damn it! Just get me some toilet paper!"

"Oh, ok! Where do you keep it?"

"In the closet in the master bathroom."

"Okay, don't worry, I'll be right back!" Romano sighed and slumped on the toilet seat as he waited.

At that time, he was blissfully unaware that his day was going to get any more stressful than that.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Germany, Spain trudged up the hill to the fortified house in the distance. So they were anticipating him…

Gilbert put down his binoculars and rounded to face his troops with a severe expression.

"Alright, men. This is the moment you've been training for. We are about to come under siege. Will we allow it?" An adamant refusal resounded through the room. Germany stared in disbelief at the thousands of his brother's soldiers. Gilbert nodded his approval before opening a door in the ceiling above.

"Now fly! Protect your home!" And so the troops rose into the air and flew out towards their target. Finally, Germany found his voice.

"…Bruder…WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM?"

"Calm down West! The Awesome Me has his ways!"

"You've been using my credit card to pay for their food, haven't you?"

"…Maybe…"

"Why you-

"Relax, West! Watch my boys do their work!"

"You're getting a job to pay for them." Germany glared at Prussia, who simply shrugged.

Outside, Spain was making good progress towards the house as he ran different battle scenarios through his mind. Then, a large yellow cloud seemed to rise up from the house. Spain's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. When the cloud started to move closer, a strange sound like the beating of a thousand wings reached his ears. His eyes widened in horror as realization hit him.

"…Oh, shit."

* * *

Back in Italy…

Romano yawned and scratched his stomach as he watched the football game on his television. He had just taken a bite of his tomato when his phone rang. He growled before picking it up.

"What?"

"Romano…."

"Spain? What the fuck's wrong with you, bastard?"

"I-I don't have much time left…this could really be the end for me…! I just wanted to hear your voice one last time…"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Don't worry. I won't give up. I'll fight to the end for your honor Romano!"

"What? Spain? Spain!" The line went dead. Romano swore under his breath and stood up. He stood there for a moment, hesitating.

"Ah, damn it! Spain you idiot, how the fuck am I supposed to save you if I don't even know where you are?"

* * *

Spain took a deep breath and headed out from behind the tree. He gave a mighty battle cry as he charged up the hill. The "air force" swooped down in teams of ten or so, pecking any flesh they could find.

Prussia peered out at the scene from the attic.

"Kesesese! I trained them well! There's no way he'll make it!"

"Are you certain this is an effective battle strategy?" Germany asked doubtfully.

"Exactly who is the oldest and more experienced of us?"

"…you are. But-

"And who has been making war for hundreds of years here?"

"You…"

"Right. So just trust me on this. Even if he makes it here, he's going to be so weak from the attack that he'll never break the fortifications! We're prepared for anything anyway, so it's fine!"

Germany sighed and prayed his brother was right.

Spain stumbled forward and covered his head as avian fury continued to rain down on him. He eventually reached the side of the fortification. The legions of Gilbirds continued to pelt him with vicious pecks, but he had already made it this far. Spain let out a laugh of triumph. Victory was yet at hand. Now all he had to do was get inside...

"Damn…he made it. Prepare to do battle."

Germany rubbed at his temples. He really just wanted to try to talk this out, if possible...Suddenly, his phone rang. More out of habit than desire to talk at this moment, he answered it.

"Hello?"

"You German bastard! Spain's in trouble!" Germany's mouth fell open in shock.

"Romano? Errr. I'm afraid I can't help…I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Screw you, potato bastard! He sounded like he was on his damn death bed when he called me!" Germany glanced out the window to see the Spaniard climb past the wall of sandbags, despite the ongoing bird attacks and the barbed wire that lined the top. Prussia swore.

"West, we don't have time for you to chat! That damn Spaniard is about to break in!"

"…What was that!" Romano shouted from the phone. Suddenly, Germany had an idea.

"Wait! Romano, I'm putting you on speaker! Spain will be here shortly!" Prussia stared at his brother.

"West, are you crazy? I know what you're thinking, and that little brat will never call him off!"

"It's the only choice we have to end this peacefully! You don't want to fight your friend do you?" Prussia frowned and averted his gaze, but said,

"There's a reason we're called the Bad Friends Trio. We fight all the time; it's what we do… It's what nations do." Germany leveled a steady gaze at his brother. He hoped his brother didn't honestly believe that all conflicts had to end in violence, and he wondered briefly if all older nations felt this sad inevitability.

"HEY. I'M STILL FUCKING HERE YOU DAMN SPUD-HEADS." Romano felt the need to remind the brothers of his presence. Loudly. Prussia sighed.

"Fine. But I'm bringing a gun just in case." So they trudged downstairs to wait in the front parlor, watching tensely as the door was slowly being knocked inward with the force of Spain repeatedly throwing his weight against it. Romano was still cursing on the phone and demanding to talk to Spain. Finally, the door was moments away from yielding. Prussia shifted the gun in his hand nervously.

"I hope you know what you're doing, West." Germany grimaced.

_I hope I do, too…_

* * *

**A.N.)** So the author said "Let there be cheesecake!", and it was good…

Guys. Guys. I totally just thought of a nickname for Germany. Germanly. Get it? GerMANLY? I'm such a dork :D And yes, Gilbert totally has a Gilbird army. You know it to be so.

…

*waits for the inevitable stoning*


	13. Tsundere to the Rescue

A.N.) I believe this story has become progressively sillier as it's gone on. Not sure if that's good or bad, though. Ah, well. I AM hoping the romance can start to get more focus soon, though. Sorry guys, I feel like such a tease, giving you that yummy first chapter and then drawing the fic out like this. Hopefully my ludicrous story has still managed to entertain you, somewhat. AND I SWEAR TO YOU GUYS I'LL FINISH THIS STORY BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Sooo, yeah. Enjoy.

* * *

*Bang!* *Bang* Bang*

Spain stopped ramming himself against the door for a moment to give his aching body a rest. He frowned. This wasn't going very quickly…Then his eyes lit up as he remembered he had a giant battle-axe strapped to his back.

_Oh yeah, that's what felt so heavy!_ As he took the weapon from his back and began whacking through the stubborn door, he wondered to himself if maybe he really was a little slow, like everyone said…Nah.

The front door was being chopped to pieces. The metal of the axe head could be seen poking through the wood. Germany steeled himself with resolve as Prussia shifted nervously. Soon, a large ragged hole had been hacked into the door, and Spain forced himself in dramatically. Or, at least, he tried to. The effect was ruined a bit because he got his axe caught in the makeshift opening. Despite the tense situation, both Germany and Prussia had to stifle a laugh as they watched Spain awkwardly struggle to haul the large killing implement through. Once he had tugged himself free, however, the Spaniard rounded the two other men, weapon raised and looking a whole lot more threatening when not failing epically at making an entrance.

Spain's eyes quickly zeroed in on his target, and they narrowed as he began his approach. Germany took a deep breath and held up his phone.

"Alright, Romano, Spain's right here."

"About fucking time, damn it! And just what the hell was all that noise?!" Spain froze.

"Ro...Romano? Is that really you?" Spain's eyebrows crinkled, making him look painfully cute, contrasting greatly with the GIANT FUCKING AXE he was holding. (Seriously, one may be tempted to theorized he's compensating for something)

"Yes, it's me you bastard! You fucking asshole, I thought you were dead!"

"No, I made it through! I'm so sorry for worrying you, Lovi!"

"I…I wasn't worried, damn it!" Spain laughed.

"Of course not Lovi~ Now, just wait a minute and Boss will avenge you!" Spain cooed.

"You're not my bo- wait, did you say avenge?"

"Yep! I'll chop Germany into little pieces~!" Spain sing-songed as he hefted his axe over his shoulder getting ready to strike. Prussia bristled and fired a warning shot next to his friend's head. Spain froze and then rounded to face the albino.

"No you fucking won't! You think I'll stand by and watch as you hack apart my little brother?" Spain growled. Germany tensed.

"Well then, _amigo_, I guess I'll just have to get rid of you first, verdad?!"

"HOLD THE LITERAL FUCKING PHONE. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" All three men jumped a bit and looked at the cell phone Romano's voice was coming from.

"I'm… defending your honor by killing the bastard who defiled your face with his filthy lips?" Spain blinked in confusion. It was almost like Romano didn't WANT Germany dead. But that was just silly…right?

Prussia let out a hiss. "You go near my brother and I'll fill you with lead!"

"WHAT?!" Romano screeched. Everyone winced. Romano was panicking. "That's it, bastards! Everyone just calm the fuck down and we'll talk this shit out! None has to chop anyone one up or fill them with lead!" Germany and Prussia were both somewhat amazed someone could be so aggressive when trying to calm other people down and establish peace; Spain however, was used to Romano's speech habits and took it in stride.

"But Romano, I thought you hated Germany? So why don't you want him to die for kissing you?" There was a pause on the phone.

"I…I…I just don't want you to get shot, idiot…" Spain's expression cleared.

"Oh, don't worry about me! I'm more than a match for these two!" Prussia snorted.

"D-damn it! No! Just…I don't…really…completely, actually hate him…" Spain was nonplussed. Germany felt a blush creep on to his face, and he felt just a bit light headed…He made a note to himself that he should really see a doctor about that...

"Huh?"

"I mean I don't want you to kill him, damn it!" Spain's expression at that moment was one of a man clubbed over the head.

"R-romano, you…you don't mean that you…actually like him, do you?"

"N-no! I just…..I'm fucking merciful, ok?!" The Italian's voice was too high-pitched and sounded a bit too flustered to be believed. Germany felt a vague sense of elation fill him, along with a giddy sort of nervousness and bashful denial. Romano couldn't _actually_ like him, could he? And if he _did_, what would that mean for himself? How should he react to that? Spain's shoulders drooped and he slowly lowered his weapon. A feeling of dread stole over him. Prussia's voice brought them back to the current situation.

"Well, if that's that, guess you need to get going!" He pushed Spain out the hole in the door before the brunette could register what was happening. He sat on the ground outside a moment before deciding that he may as well head home…for now.

Prussia let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the retreating figure and turned to face Germany.

"Well…looks like you got yourself an admirer." Prussia sent the blond a saucy grin. Germany blushed and scowled at the obnoxious man.

"I'm not his damn admirer!" Both brothers jumped, having forgotten the Italian was still on the line. Germany hastily hung up the phone in a mortified panic as a string of what were surely Italian profanities streamed out of the speaker. Prussia cackled with laughter as Germany silently wished for the ability to sink into the floor.


	14. Sorry

Hey.

I know that I've been an inconsistent updater.

I know I haven't updated in months.

For this, I am sorry.

I've been struggling with depression for a few years. It made it really hard sometimes just to get the things in my life done that I NEEDED to get done, homework, chores, etc. I would sometimes just end up sitting on the couch, listless, knowing I had stuff to do but feeling sad and unmotivated. Even things in my life I liked to do, never really made me "happy", I just felt comforted by them, or used them as an escape from the real world.

A couple months ago I had an emotional breakdown, and I've been struggling with self-hatred and anxiety. I'm still questioning a lot about myself and my life views.

I'm getting help, I finally told my family, I'm seeing a therapist and I'm on medication. I hope that I can get healthy enough to focus on my hobbies like writing, but right now, it's sort of a day-to-day struggle at times just to function. So, I just felt you needed an explanation at the least.

Thank you all for your support, making me feel like I was able to make other people happy.

Goodbye, for now, anyway.


End file.
